Distance and Time

Lets talk about LDR.

No i don't mean Light Dependent Resistor, sorry to disappoint all you engineers and electricians out there. Go read a physics or engineering blog instead, cause i'm gonna talk about Long Distance Relationships, so there're no bulbs or electrical circuits involved. Though i may use certain words like 'sparks' and 'dependent' in this topic. lol.

Okay, so... LDR. We all know of many people who are involved in it. Few of them manage to stand the test of time and distance and end up having a successful relationship, some just fail to sustain it, some still trying really hard to hold on and make it last.

Just recently, a friend of mine was talking to me about his situation with his girl - both are in different parts of the world, holding on to the relationship as much as they both could. Of course, thanks to technologies, they have their daily skype-ing sessions, so communication is not at all a problem.

But, the biggest problem is, you may be communicating with each other, but you're not connecting. Not just physically, but emotionally.

Nobody said it was easy. In fact, it is very very difficult. It takes a shit load of time and effort to make sure you keep in touch, spice up the relationship, re-ignite the sparks again and again, build trust, and remind him/her of the reason you both wanted to do this in the first place.

Many couples have failed to make it work. They get emotionally dependent, which leads to feeling needy and neglected, resulting in misunderstanding and arguments, then frustrations, and then gradually the loss of interest and drifting apart. Some are simply just not loyal enough.

On the other hand, some couples manage to make it work. Honestly, i haven't the faintest idea how they do it.These people must have secretly gone to some LDR college, and graduated with first class honours! These people are a loyal bunch who probably say no to every social events so that they don't expose themselves to the dangerous flirting and attractions out there. Okay i know i'm bullshitting now so can anyone tell me how these people make it work? Enlighten me, please.

I've never believed in LDR. I know people have had successful LDRs , but they are just too rare. I myself had once ended a perfectly fine relationship because i was gonna leave home and come to india. It could have progressed further if i had allowed it to, but no, i didn't believe in LDRs so i decided to put an end to it. Frankly, i'm glad i did so. At least it ended on a sweet note.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that LDRs never work. They can work, but only if you believe you and your partner can make it work, only if you are willing to take the leap of faith, and face the consequences of that leap. It is a huge challenge, that only you yourself can decide whether to take up or not. And most importantly, it has to be mutual. No point holding on if he/she has given up.

It's not about believing in the concept of LDR. It's about believing in yourself, and your partner. And for that matter, only you can decide.

Tiny Creatures.

A gazillion apologies! For the lack of updates. Been really occupied in the past 2 weeks - college, night postings, homework and everything else that makes a medical student's life miserable and suicide-inducing. But it's been a different kind of busy, a good one in fact, compared to the usual i-am-a-nerd-and-i-have-too-much-to-study-and-i-have-no-life-so-don't-date-me kind. This time, i actually am feeling good about it. OBG postings in the morning, lectures, and more lectures or practicals in the afternoon, and then night postings. Sounds exhausting (well it IS exhausting, actually) but totally worth it! Right now, i can proudly declare to the world of my experiences in natural labours, Caesarean sections, abortions, and many surgeries related to this field. Well, obviously not MY experience you morons what i meant was i've witnessed all of them. One time, it was 7 babies in one night! Believe me, natural labour is probably the most magical thing on earth. *teary-eyed*

Despite all the breath-taking, eye-popping, and jaw-dropping experiences i had, i don't think i'll be a gynaecologist, an obstetrician or a pediatrician in the future. Too much vagina, too much screaming, too many babies. They kinda creep me out.

Finally, this course i'm doing is starting to make sense. :)

Did you make a Wish last night?

The album release concert of Wish last night was pretty good. Everyone looked good, the stage looked good, lighting was good, music was good, crowd was good, so overall it was a good night.

(except the small insignificant part where i think i kinda screwed up the "on-stage jam session". lol.)

Backstage.

If there were any people who were able to make a difference in Davangere, it would be them.

back and alive but not kicking yet.

I AM BACK IN INDIA!

Chinese New Year was short yet sweet. I ate all i could, and gained a hundred kilogram, and rebonded with family and friends. Glad i went home :)

I'm actually pretty excited over the few months to come. Currently i'm having OBG postings, it's the crying babies and wailing mothers department, in Layman English. Just found out that i missed the delivery of a pair of twins few days ago, and also a hysterectomy and removal of a tennis-ball sized fibroid. Missed so much for bunking just one week. Sad. Come on babies who are still in your mothers' wombs, i know it's a five star hotel in there, but now that i'm back, please check out so that i can witness the welcoming of you little creatures into the wild wild world? I promise sweets and candies in return :)

By the way, I've found a new source of motivation to lose weight.

That's my mom, when she was my age. Just look at her figure OMG, especially her legs.

ON THE OTHER HAND,

Say hello to fatty bom bom! 5 year-old me, quiet and moody, riding a wooden horse wishing it was real.


It's a new chapter starting tomorrow! Yeeeee Haaa!

I will try to stop being condescending, on the other hand you should try to stop being an egoistic bastard. 

finally catching a breath!

Been so occupied in the past week. The trip to Mumbai with Sarah was really good, but i'll talk about that 2 weeks later cause the photos are all in Sarah's camera and i'm only seeing her in 2 or more weeks. and that girl's deactivated her facebook so she's hopeless in posting photos. But what i can say now is, Mumbai was unforgettable and breath-taking, especially when i had an awesome travelling partner, Sarah. We did so much. Crazy train rides, visit to the slumps, bicycle tour around the city, LOTS of shopping, cafe hopping, some drinking, Shah Rukh Khan's house, spotting good looking people on the streets and lots more. I'll elaborate more next time.

Now i'm back home, in Malacca. Just in time for one whole week of Chinese New Year celebration. Lots to eat, lots of people to meet up with, lots of ang pao to collect. Please pray that i get lots of ang pao, and that i don't get too fat. Thank you.

Till then!

2 more hours and i'm off to Bombay baby! 12-hour bus ride yay. I LOVE BUS RIDES.

Till then. Toodles!

don't mind me.

I haven't shopped in a long, long time. So, please allow the little shopaholic freak in me to scream and demand.

The Oxford Flats.

The Classic Brown Leather Sling Bag.

Not gonna have the time to shop anytime soon and also i'm tryin to save some money so i guess these have to wait.

of life, people, and change.

I've always believed in fostering good relationships with people around me to improve the quality of my life. Just to be clear, i'm talking about relationships of all kinds - romantic boy-girl relationships, platonic friendship etc. It's not entirely easy though, to engage with people. It takes time and effort, to get to know the person, to build trusts, to spice up the relationship so it doesn't get buried in the tomb of dullness and boredom. But all these are fairly manageable and within reach. What's even more difficult and challenging, is when an ordinary relationship leads to attachments, which inevitably result in expectations, and then disappointments, and finally, frustrations.

I know some of you might say that it's never safe or right to trust anyone in this world cause after all, you are always on your own, you live your own life, and you die alone in the end. So might as well support yourself and trust only yourself, cause you don't wanna make mistakes and end up hurting yourself. Hence, you stay within the borderlines of relationships, not engage too deeply, and keep them safe, an uglier word would be, superficial.

But, no. That's not how it works.

Aunt Jenny once told me, Only you can make your own life great, but treasure the creatures around you cause they can greatly enhance your life and make it even more amazing.


All my life, i've been pretty selective in choosing friends. Don't get me wrong, i don't shoo people off if they're not cool enough, neither am i a bitter antisocial bitch. I have many friends, all on good terms, neat and nice, but when it comes to whom i trust, whom i am willing to spend my time with, whom i take effort to talk to, whom i actually care about, i can be quite picky. But this is not at all about being choosy or picky, what i'm trying to talk about is, how to handle the person you've selectively picked to be considered a friend.

It took me 21 years to realize that i have personal issues. I've always been a perfectionist. This perfectionism took me far enough to achieve many great things and fulfill many life goals. But somehow, it went a little too far and became deteriorating to me.

I always have high expectations, of myself. Always wanting to be great, but often think i'm not good enough. Yes, it certainly backfires, most of the time. But that's not that bad, cause it only involves me and i usually am able to handle it, for now at least. What's worse is, when i expect too much from other people. That's when the frustrations kick in, cause when i care for someone, i tend to try to change that someone, wanting him/her to be better, expecting him/her to be better, so that we can both work our way to becoming great people. I thought it was an awesome thing to do, you know, to bring out the awesome-ness in a person, makes me feel good about myself as well. But things don't always go the way we want 'em to. I've learnt to acknowledge the tendency of people to fall, to underachieve, to lose drives and interests, to not change, and to disappoint. But the mere acknowledgement is never enough to stop me from being disappointed and frustrated, after that mountain load of expectations.

I've been trying to change myself, to expect less from myself, from people and from the environment. But many things are easier said than done. Change is not easy. So that's why i can't change the people around me, and i can't change myself too, which makes me even more disappointed, this time, with myself.

What a paradoxical topic. You see how contradiction works?

Nonetheless, i've sort of figured this whole thing out.

Previously i had said things like "It hurts less when you care less." but let me make a few adjustments to make it more applicable to real life.

"Accept the flaws and imperfections in people and also yourself because they define who you are and build your character and most importantly, they are the doorways and blueprints to self improvement and learning opportunities. And yes, you can still care, but it won't hurt."

So go ahead, Engage with people around you. Learn to give. Learn to take. Learn to connect. Don't be afraid of making mistakes or being hurt. Problems are bound to happen all the time in life, preventing problems from occurring by not trying is not the way of living life to the fullest. Learn how to deal with problems. Learn how to deal with people. Learn how to deal with your own thoughts and emotions. Expose yourself to adverse conditions and situations so that you learn the tricks and skills to be tougher and smarter. At the end of the day, you have nothing to lose but a shit load to gain.

That is gonna be my own mantra for now. Cheers.

the mini episode in Kerala.

Alright alright i know i'm supposed to talk about the Kerala trip.

It was pleasant. Really pleasant. Though initially i was absolutely convinced that i was gonna die in the tremendous heat and humidity of Kochin City, the whole trip turned out pretty lovely, actually. The biggest reason would be the amazing hospitality shown by Malvika and her parents. Yuan Theng, Vee Kee and I bunked at their place and they totally made us feel warm and welcomed. Her parents even cooked for us so yea, we lived and ate like typical keralites for 4 good days. and i gained so much weight! emo.

Look at Malvika. Doesn't she glow like a lil miss sunshine? Amazing girl.

What i like most about Kerala, is definitely the Backwaters Boathouse.

If you're looking for a laidback boating experience surrounded by calm water, greeny borderless paddyfields, coconut trees, along with the melodious chirping of birds and sweet fresh air, this would be perfecto.

You could read a book, relax and enjoy the fresh air and sceneries, or just take a nap.

Beautiful :)

Also, on our last day in Kochin, i pampered myself with this amazing 3 hour spa which included an hour of body scrub, an hour of Swedish full body massage, and an hour of facial. and on top of those, a nice warm cup of herbal green tea and a fruit platter. Ahh, don't hate me. Cause i already hate myself. lol.

So right now i'm just chilling in Davangere. Nothing much, just watching a couple of movies, catching up with whatever i could do with the internet, swimming etc. Yasmin's gonna be back tomorrow evening so i'd better get started on cleaning up the room cause believe me the room looks like it's been hit by tsunami.

2 days to Mumbai trip with Sarah, and then Home. :)

"Never blame the world for your problems. YOU are YOUR own problems and YOUR own solutions."

got that from the movie Bridesmaids i watched this afternoon. Sucky movie, but i managed to extract these good words from it.

A Sweet Goodbye.

So i sold my Nikon D3000. after one and a half years of the lack of photographic achievements which i had initially overestimated in me. Took me over a year to realize that it was not my thing, but anyhow i'm really glad i dipped my infant toes into the vast sea of photography. I actually learnt a thing or two from it. It taught me how to see things from different angles and perspectives, and it's amazing how those parameters are able to tell different stories, messages and emotions which are exuded in just a single photograph. I've learnt to acknowledge and understand the great wonders and possibilities in the world of photography, though i was hardly close to becoming a master at it, this period of exposure had made me develop a deeper appreciation for good photographs, and a greater respect for good photographers around the world.

Right now, the Nikon is in the hands of Joel Sakkari, or better known as Joel Saccharide, or what i'd like to call Mr.Sugar (because Sakkari means Sugar, and Saccharide scientifically means Sugar as well). Now this is a guy whose hands i believe, can create magic with the camera. He's got the talents and passion which i never had, so i'm glad my camera has found a better owner.

So what's next? A Semipro maybe? or a Polaroid? or maybe i'll share with Nazrin a DSLR with video function. We'll see. It's never wrong to explore different things in life to widen your horizon. It makes life all the more interesting.

Lets end this post by going down the memory lane i had with my Nikon. Just a brief one.

Easter eggs. Made by Miss Lee.

Statue of Buddha. Aunt Jenny's house.

Lamb Chop. Sizzler's Ranch, Mangalore.

Best drink in the world.

Bali.

Sleeping but still alive. As unpredictable as Life.

Adrenaline Rush.

Beauty in detail.

Briyani. India.

when Life throws you with choices.

of Sunset and Boat Rides.

and the Hope & Anticipation one should always have in Life.

come over & give me a massage.

I'm having a great time.

Nothing much is happening, actually. I'm basically just enjoying the temporary Me Time i have right now. It's been a relaxing week. My regular day starts with great music which i could just blast out loud while making breakfast, then perhaps a good movie or a novel, and then swimming at 3, followed by a lovely tea break with Sarah, then we'll roam around town, maybe have coconut juice, then it's gym in the evening, and finally a night of purely just guitar and keyboard, and to top that off, some red wine.

Tomorrow i'll be off to Kerala for a 5 day-vacation. Just tagging along with YuanTheng and VeeKee, and we're gonna bunk at Malvika's place. It's gonna be a laidback trip, which i'm very much looking forward to. Backwater Houseboats, Ayurveda Spa, etc. I've been DYING to have a good spa, a full body massage especially, and hopefully a hot steam bath as well. Ah, perfect, too perfect.

Backwater Boat House

this is gonna be me in no time.

Everyone loves holidays!

Yes. I'm still alive and kicking.

Didn't mean to ditch my blog, but you see, i recovered from an arm injury and you have no idea how i missed my right hand. So after the recovery i got myself occupied with every single thing that required the usage of my right hand. From cutting an orange to eating an orange, from applying lotion on the left arm using the right arm to brushing my teeth with my right hand, and bla bla bla. The joy of getting the right hand back was just too overwhelming, made me appreciate what i can do with my right hand. So yea, was doing this and that, this and that, except for blogging. hahaa.

Internals over. Frankly it was pretty horrible. Didn't expect a mountain load of stuff to study in the first term of 2nd year. I don't dare to even begin to imagine the amount to be covered in the final term. Anyway, i made a strategy for the first and second internals. Less work, less stress, less nerdifying effect. Not gonna disclose it here and let any of you copy my genius idea. Hopefully it works.

Surgery postings have come to an end as well. What can i say? Ain't a big fan. Didn't get my adrenaline rushing. Okay, it's still early to say anything at this stage, considering the fact that i only attended 1 OT so far, that too with a couple of boring surgeries i.e. Appendectomy and Herniectomy, and also the fact that i despised of how strict this department is with attendance and how the professor likes dispensing unnecessary homework. Main point is, this department sorta failed to catch my interest. But putting all these aside, there's this young doctor who's pretty cute and dashing so THAT caught my interest for awhile. *wink wink* OKAY DON'T JUDGE ME. i deserve an eye candy once in awhile.

oh, happy new year by the way.

Didn't have a super crazy and happening new year celebration cause i didn't wanna get into trouble with my warden whom i hate so much, but i'm glad i went for dinner with a bunch of friends. Joel, Sachin, Peka, Rachel, etc. Kinda turned down the invitation to go to a party but i'm glad i did that. I don't know why, maybe i've grown old, maybe i've grown boring? ah maybe i just didn't wanna get into anymore trouble this time round. enough of stupid little troubles that don't make sense in 2011. Anyway after dinner i came back to the room before the clock striked 12, just in time to open a bottle of red wine. Was so excited to finally open the French bottle i had kept for months but guess what? i was a retard cause i didn't have a corkscrew. lol so i had to open the other bottle, local brand, which didn't require a corkscrew. Wasn't the best red wine in the world but sufficiently good. Clinked glasses with Sarah and Yuan Theng who dropped by my room at 12am. It was pleasant.

Resolutions? well, nothing drastic. nothing radical. but i'm gonna pay more attention to myself and improve myself in every way possible. been giving a little too much attention to people around me in the past year, and sorta neglected myself. so that's 1 resolution. The next one would be, to approach more & to be more approachable. and i'm gonna have a good kickstart by flashing a big fat smile here. :D there you go.

The most important one on the list, is to expect less. Expectations always end up in disappointments, whether the expectations are from other people, or yourself. They're pretty much the same.

Think less. Do more. Resolutions and aims don't count unless you execute them.

i'm gonna stop talking like a philosopher wannabe. or a naggy mom.

Okay anyway, holidays have started and i've got em planned out already. Kerala and Mumbai in January, then head back home. and during the time intervals between now and Kerala, and between Kerala and Mumbai (why am i talking like that, i annoy myself with my own english), i'm gonna just relax and enjoy all the me time i have, swim a lil bit, work out a lil bit, play some guitar and keyboard, watch a couple of good movies, roam around town and explore the place.

and oh, i have a project, that i need to work on. :) it'll happen really soon.

2012 is gonna be grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-eat!